MORE THRIFTY (NUTTY) IDEAS

The City of Naples loved the new 1957 Chevy Impalas so much they bought three of them for the Police Department. And paid for them twice. It happened like this.

At the time new car dealerships were scarce in Naples so getting the Chevrolets was a trick. But a used car dealer, who we'll call Slippery Simpson, convinced the City he could get them a good deal on new Chevies. He'd once sold new cars elsewhere, he claimed, and had the inside track on obtaining all the new ones the City wanted. They bought his story, gave him three old police cars as trade-ins, and paid for the merchandise. Slippery told the City they'd have to pick up the cars in Lakeland, where he'd bought them, and made all the arrangements.

When the car pickeruppers arrived there, however, they where met with quizzical looks. No one, it seems had purchased three new Chevies for the City of Naples. Must be some mistake. So the City took delivery of three new ones anyway, and told the dealer there they'd forward payment.

Arriving back in Naples, a search for Ol' Slippery found he'd left town. Driving the then Chief Cale Jones' car he'd taken on trade. The car dealer in Lakeland finally filed a civil action against the City when they never recieved any money from Slippery or the City and the City had to pay up. Again.

Slippery was later caught out of state, but the money was long gone.

Thanks to Chief Ben Caruthers for the help.

THRIFTY (NUTTY) IDEAS

Government, constant bastion against frivolous spending of the tax payers dollars, sometimes is a little too thrifty.

There was a time when the CCSO would only use Firestone tires. Great tires, cheap price. The City would only use Goodyear. Cost a little more but lasted much longer. A friendly contention raged over who was right.

The argument was settled one evening when both NPD and CCSO cops chased a wild man in a Dodge Challenger up to Bonita Springs. Before the chase was over, the tires blew on all three CCSO cars in the chase and remained inflated on the Goodyears. By the end of the next week all Sheriff's cars were wearing Goodyears.

That's not to say the City was always wise in their spending. When the new PD was built on Goodlette Road our--the Police Department's--specs called for shades over the front windows. If not shaded, a clear view of the lobby and the Comm Center, with dispatchers, was available at night to anyone driving by or taking a gander from the adjoining neighborhoods. Across Goodlette was Naples' ghetto, McDonald's Quarters, not always the NPD's fan base. The City said blinds cost too much so we asked for dark solar film. The cost for this was minimal but some Council folks argued it was excessive. And they won.

During the first week we occupied the building, a rifle shot came zinging through the Comm Center one evening. Fortunately, no one was hit, but several did have to change their laundry.

And, suddenly, the film was no longer too expensive. It went up the next day, right after the glass with the bullet hole in it was changed.

JACK, HARVEY AND THE O'DAY TWINS

Jack Bliss was the Detective who taught me to be a Detective. A big, rowdy, former Paratrooper, he had his own way of doing things. And a grand, dark sense of humor.

Harvey St Jean was the premier South Florida criminal lawyer. The subject of Calvin Trillin's Harvey St Jean, He Had It Made, he was at the top of the defense garbage heap in Miami. He was preferred by the criminal cartels. Until, in 1974, when someone shot him to death in his fancy car. The suspect was a Cuban cocaine dealer who claimed Harvey had stolen some of his money. Harvey? A lawyer? Why would he think that.

Harvey may have come close to his just deserts earlier, when he met Jack Bliss. Harvey defended two burglars who we'll call the O'Day twins. The O'Days had a neat little operation going. One would commit a burglary, while the other established an iron clad alibi. If caught, the one with the alibi would go to court. Who knew? They were identical. After he was identified, Harvey, their lawyer, would prove it couldn't have been him using the alibi. Worked great. Until they did it in Naples.

After stealing from a Naples hotel and getting caught, Harvey had gotten them off using the same trick. The O'Days walked. Not Guilty.

The gloating trio were on their way back to Miami when Jack pulled them over, miles down US 41, deep into the desolate swamp. Then Jack had a conversation with them that got their attention.

Jack was vague about what he'd told them, but when he loomed over you, and spoke in that flat, menacing, voice, accompanied by a wry smile, it amounted to one of those offers you couldn't refuse.

Like, "Your visa to Collier County has just been revoked." And, "Do you know how many folks have disappeared in these swamps? Never a trace found after the gators ate their bodies." And, "If you don't think I'm serious, just bring your az back over here and see."

Harvey and the O'Day brothers never returned to Collier County. Knowing Jack, I wouldn't have either.