THE KAW-LIGA KAPER

When Hank Williams wrote about the troubles of poor ol' Kaw-liga, he overlooked one. So we'll make the record complete.

Our Kaw-liga was a life-size wooden Indian that stood outside a tobacco shop on Park Street. Each morning the shop's owner would take the wooden warrior out of his shed, attached to the outside of the shop, and wheel him around to the front of the store. On closing, it was back in the shed. He led a pretty uneventful life until he ran into Gunzan Rozes, a rookie NPD cop.

Gunzan, assigned to the midnight watch, was struggling through his initiation onto the force. All rookies were teased and aggravated and some took it better than others. When the veterans found out Gunzan was "goosey" his initiation took a whole new turn.

One early AM. when the town was locked down and cops were struggling to keep awake, Gunzan became the focus of fun and games.Working downtown, he was on foot, "rattling doors." This is cop jargon for checking the back doors of businesses to insure they are locked. As he crept down a darkened alley, one covert cop threw an empty garbage can behind him, the crash and roll evoking in Gunzan pure terror and gastric distress. When he finally was able to catch his breath, he was amped up, his hand on his revolver. He squinted and roved the alley with his flashlight beam, trying to penetrate the spooky nooks and crannies.

When he got near Park Street, another cop kicked the shed door of the tobacco shop, then jumped out of site. Gunzan crept up to the door and, gun drawn, yanked it open. There he faced poor 'ol Kaw-liga standing in the darkness, arm up, tomahawk in hand. Gunzan fired one shot into Kaw-liga's belly before he realized he was killing a statue. He quickly shut the door and beat it out of the area. All the prankster cops did, too.

There was no report of the incident and none was asked for by Gunzan's superiors. The story became a legend, circulating around the PD for years. But no one would ever own up to being the garbage can slinger/door kicker or Gunzan Rozes. And I'm damn sure not gonna break the tradition now.