Monday, February 1, 2010

BAD BIRD

Once Mike Grimm and I were at Lineback's Firestone getting new tires on our unmarked cop car. Inside the waiting room, we noticed that Paul had acquired a new helper. A Mynah bird. Paul'd placed him in a cage up by the front door. He hoped the bird would be an attraction, something for his customers to smile at.
He certainly made Mike and I smile, being a perfect mimic and a quick study. And, he seemed to know just when to say something, not just jabber at random.
Dave Johnson later told me that when he was a child on Marco Island the family had a Mynah bird named Sinbad that was so smart it was disconcerting. He said the bird was placed close to the bathroom door, and whenever anyone occupied the facilities, the bird would mimic the sound of gastric explosions, then emit as satisying, "Aaaaaaah."
He'd also, when placed on the back porch, aggravate the neighbors dog by yelling "Here Spot, come and eat," in a perfect imitation of poor Spot's master's voice. The dog would race around the yard until he collapsed from exhaustion, trying to find out just where in hell his boss was.
Paul Lineback's bird was similarly disposed to rude humor as we found out, after spending some time with him, improving his vocabulary.
An unhappy Paul called us one day ranting, "You've ruined my bird. He's running off all my customers."
Inquiring how, Paul went on. "When a customer comes in, he yells at them, 'Buy something you cheap son-of-a-bitch.' And there's no need of you guys denying it 'cause he sounds just like Mike Grimm."

1 comment:

  1. It's true, our old Mynah SINBAD could mimic passin gas--he kept it up even after mom moved him away from the bathroom door! Good one Gary.

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