Gail Addison reminds us of some of the dark humor cops use to maintain their tenuous grasp on reality. After some of the stuff they deal with.
An exuberant, young Investigator--who came bounding into the office each day, dove into his chair, then yanked open his center drawer to dig out work materials--was setting a bad example. No job was that much fun!
To put him on the righteous path, his thoughtful associates rigged his desk so the next time he eagerly approached the day's duties there'd be a surprise in store. Using clear fishing leader, they tied each object on his desktop to the back of the center drawer. This included phone, clock, pens, paperclips, blotter, In-Out trays, you name it.
The next day, when Bounder yanked open his center drawer, everything on top raced to the back, then off onto the floor, disappearing from sight. This left Bounder with something really important to do that day. Figure out what the hell had just happened.
No one was safe from the fun and games. Wilma Horrom, a grand lady who everyone loved, used to buy fresh eggs from Steve Riley, who had a agrarian itch and raised chickens on the side. Steve would deliver the eggs to her office.
Wilma'd then write her name on the carton and put it in the office fridge. One day, some of the guys decided this was just too tidy an operation and took the eggs to the kitchen and boiled them. After the dozen had cooled, they replaced them in the carton. Wilma took them home and spent some time trying to crack one, to fry for breakfast, before she figured out what happened.
And when she got to work, she let the culprits know just what she thought of the stunt. Her lecture so chastened the pranksters that it was almost a week before they decorated her Calla Lily with condoms.
Just good, clean fun at the CCSO.
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