An old cop joke was that there was no prostitution in Naples because hookers couldn't compete with free enterprise. Truth was, we did have a few then. No escort or massage services, like today, but prostitution is always ubiquitous.
Lulu Loosey, a real sweetie, was operating out of The Cove Inn. We, the cops, hadn't received any complaints on her and, if a hooker was running a legit game, she was low priority. She must've, however, tread on somebody's carrot cause we got word from above to shut her down. Wasn't gonna be easy.
Lulu had tricks to entice customers and detect cops. Ever hear the one about catching monkeys by filling hollow coconuts with rice, and cutting a hole just big enough for the monkey's hand to get through. Once it grabbed the rice it wouldn't let go and the closed fist was too big to come back out. Lulu must've heard that yarn.
Soon as the John entered her room, she'd hit that button hooker's have on their costume that makes it fall away, instantly. Then she'd yank down the customer's fly, insert her hand, grab ahold, and not let go. This, all the while rubbing her bountiful boobies in their face. Legit customers, of course, loved it. Cops, it put in an awkward position. Some forgot why they were there. Or would have a hard time testifying in court. Defense attorney: And just how long did you stand there, with the defendant, allegedly, holding your, uh, credentials, officer?
See what I mean? We needed a plan and just the right officer.
We selected one of small stature who didn't look like cop. Since we knew that Lulu was too smart to talk about money until she had you in her grasp, we told him to stand with his back to the door, try to ward her off until she set the price, then, kick with his heel on the door. We'd be right outside and bust in. We were Det Ray Barnett and yours truly.
Our cop, who we'll call Donnie Dumplin, was reluctant. "Don't know if I can do it," he said. "Woman get's her hand on me like that, I might cave in."
We talked it over and Donnie was the only guy we had that didn't look or talk like a Joe Friday. So, he agreed, with great reluctance, and the assurance we'd be right outside the door.
That evening everything was going like clockwork. Donnie took a seat in the bar, and before he had one sip of his ginger ale, Lulu was beside him. Twenty minutes later they were headed for her room. Ray and I followed, discretely, and when they went inside we positioned ourselves, as promised, just outside the door. In less than a minute, there was woodpecker-like hammering on the door.
Then that unexplainable quirky cop's sense of humor kicked in. Ray looked at me, I looked at him, and we both went and had a beer.
Later, we told Donnie we'd received a 10-18 and had to leave. Donnie, who didn't ride in on a rutabaga truck, said nothing happened. Lulu was suspicious and wouldn't say the right words to allow an arrest. Uh-huh.
Still under pressure, we had a meeting with Lulu and explained the facts of life to her. She said it was getting warm up north anyway, so she'd venture back to New York. And all was well. Crime was quelled in the big city, and the gentle citizens of Naples were safe once more.
Donnie Dumplin never mentioned the incident again. But, he always smiled when he drove by The Cove Inn.
Lulu Loosey, a real sweetie, was operating out of The Cove Inn. We, the cops, hadn't received any complaints on her and, if a hooker was running a legit game, she was low priority. She must've, however, tread on somebody's carrot cause we got word from above to shut her down. Wasn't gonna be easy.
Lulu had tricks to entice customers and detect cops. Ever hear the one about catching monkeys by filling hollow coconuts with rice, and cutting a hole just big enough for the monkey's hand to get through. Once it grabbed the rice it wouldn't let go and the closed fist was too big to come back out. Lulu must've heard that yarn.
Soon as the John entered her room, she'd hit that button hooker's have on their costume that makes it fall away, instantly. Then she'd yank down the customer's fly, insert her hand, grab ahold, and not let go. This, all the while rubbing her bountiful boobies in their face. Legit customers, of course, loved it. Cops, it put in an awkward position. Some forgot why they were there. Or would have a hard time testifying in court. Defense attorney: And just how long did you stand there, with the defendant, allegedly, holding your, uh, credentials, officer?
See what I mean? We needed a plan and just the right officer.
We selected one of small stature who didn't look like cop. Since we knew that Lulu was too smart to talk about money until she had you in her grasp, we told him to stand with his back to the door, try to ward her off until she set the price, then, kick with his heel on the door. We'd be right outside and bust in. We were Det Ray Barnett and yours truly.
Our cop, who we'll call Donnie Dumplin, was reluctant. "Don't know if I can do it," he said. "Woman get's her hand on me like that, I might cave in."
We talked it over and Donnie was the only guy we had that didn't look or talk like a Joe Friday. So, he agreed, with great reluctance, and the assurance we'd be right outside the door.
That evening everything was going like clockwork. Donnie took a seat in the bar, and before he had one sip of his ginger ale, Lulu was beside him. Twenty minutes later they were headed for her room. Ray and I followed, discretely, and when they went inside we positioned ourselves, as promised, just outside the door. In less than a minute, there was woodpecker-like hammering on the door.
Then that unexplainable quirky cop's sense of humor kicked in. Ray looked at me, I looked at him, and we both went and had a beer.
Later, we told Donnie we'd received a 10-18 and had to leave. Donnie, who didn't ride in on a rutabaga truck, said nothing happened. Lulu was suspicious and wouldn't say the right words to allow an arrest. Uh-huh.
Still under pressure, we had a meeting with Lulu and explained the facts of life to her. She said it was getting warm up north anyway, so she'd venture back to New York. And all was well. Crime was quelled in the big city, and the gentle citizens of Naples were safe once more.
Donnie Dumplin never mentioned the incident again. But, he always smiled when he drove by The Cove Inn.
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