The Naples PD never scrimped on schools. I was sent to Homicide school at the Univ of Louisville. Polygraph school in New York City for six-weeks. And Investigators school at the Univ of Georgia for two weeks. This was an excellent school. We were taught by true experts in each field. Most classes were overseen by federal agents, but the actual techniques used were demonstrated by felons who had gone straight. Safe cracking was taught by a safe man. Residential burglary, by a burglar. Counterfeiting by a counterfeiter. And so on. The absolute best way to learn the business.
We each had our own room on campus and the tuition was zero. The adult education building and classes were funded by Kellogg's, the cereal maker. The excellent meals were free. Really first class.
We had cops from around the country. In the evenings, it was common to gather for bull sessions. There was always lots of liquid stupid (booze) present. War stories proliferated. As an example, I told how we would catch a suspect, put them in the front seat of the cop car, wrap the mike cord around their arm and tell them they were hooked up the lie detector. Whenever they lied, the red light on the box would come on. This was really just the transmit indicator on the radio that came on when we surreptitiously keyed the mike.
"Did you break into that building?"
"No, Suh."
Key mike, light comes on. "You're lying to me."
"Well, uhhhhh. . ."
This, believe it or not, was very effective and not much of a departure from how the real polygraph is sometimes used by inept examiners.
Two detectives from New Orleans, however, took the tall tales gold cup one night. We were talking about how frustrating it was to know someone was dirty and not be able to make an arrest. Perhaps a burglar, who escaped your grasp for months, stealing thousands of dollars worth of property while you built a case.
One of the dicks from NOPD said they had the same problem, but, fortunately, they had the stupidest thieves on earth. They were often found, drowned in Lake Pontchartrain, after stealing more chain than they could swim with. A great quip. We all laughed.
I remember this several years later when the FBI conducted a massive investigation of the New Orleans PD, charged with gross corruption. The list of crimes was endless. What caught my attention were several bodies of missing criminals that turned up in Lake Pontchartrain. Wrapped in more chain than they could possibly swim with.
It seems that once again, at the school, the real experts had spoken.
We each had our own room on campus and the tuition was zero. The adult education building and classes were funded by Kellogg's, the cereal maker. The excellent meals were free. Really first class.
We had cops from around the country. In the evenings, it was common to gather for bull sessions. There was always lots of liquid stupid (booze) present. War stories proliferated. As an example, I told how we would catch a suspect, put them in the front seat of the cop car, wrap the mike cord around their arm and tell them they were hooked up the lie detector. Whenever they lied, the red light on the box would come on. This was really just the transmit indicator on the radio that came on when we surreptitiously keyed the mike.
"Did you break into that building?"
"No, Suh."
Key mike, light comes on. "You're lying to me."
"Well, uhhhhh. . ."
This, believe it or not, was very effective and not much of a departure from how the real polygraph is sometimes used by inept examiners.
Two detectives from New Orleans, however, took the tall tales gold cup one night. We were talking about how frustrating it was to know someone was dirty and not be able to make an arrest. Perhaps a burglar, who escaped your grasp for months, stealing thousands of dollars worth of property while you built a case.
One of the dicks from NOPD said they had the same problem, but, fortunately, they had the stupidest thieves on earth. They were often found, drowned in Lake Pontchartrain, after stealing more chain than they could swim with. A great quip. We all laughed.
I remember this several years later when the FBI conducted a massive investigation of the New Orleans PD, charged with gross corruption. The list of crimes was endless. What caught my attention were several bodies of missing criminals that turned up in Lake Pontchartrain. Wrapped in more chain than they could possibly swim with.
It seems that once again, at the school, the real experts had spoken.
Dad, love your stories.
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