LOU GIBBS

Today's political correctness has strangled common sense. There's nothing you can say that isn't taken as a insult by someone. You wonder how this insanity ever became so dominate, let alone even achieved a foothold. Then you remember some characters who, by their actions, planted, fertilized, and watered it. Such a character was Lou Gibbs.

Lou was the Chief of Corrections at the Collier County Jail. Loud and abrasive, I personally think he had a warped sense of humor rather than being a rabid bigot and misogynist. But, there he was and as far as Lou was concerned you could take him or leave him. Except, he was a Chief and had to be accommodated if you wanted to remain employed.

At the time, I was doing the hiring at the CCSO. Lou went through jail personnel like Tiger goes through mistresses. Once I took him two ladies who were applying to be his personal secretary. I told him both were excellent candidates and I'd like him to interview them and make a selection. Both were sitting outside his office, the door ajar. Lou thundered, "Bring 'em both in and bend 'em over the desk. Then I can pick one." I know they must have heard him.

Another time he called one of his rookie employees, an Oriental, to his office. "Go to the armory and get me a pair of left-handed handcuffs he said." This, of course, is an old joke pulled on novices. There is no such animal as left-handed cuffs.

Later, the Oriental jailer returned to Lou's office and admitted, sheepishly, that he couldn't locate the cuffs. Lou said to him, "Couldn't find 'em? You didn't have any damn trouble finding Pearl Harbor."

Lou finally quit and returned to Indiana. The next winter we received a photograph from him. Lou was lying naked in the snow, belly down. The caption read, How we measure the snow depth in Indiana.

That was Lou. He's long gone now. And, I have to admit I liked him. A lot.

PS Someone reminded me that I was gonna have a big political correctness problem cause Japs and such aren't called Orientals now. Supposed to be called Asians. . .at least for today.