As often happens, a reader has come to my rescue. Cops and others who are familiar with the events that appear here, keep me honest when my facts are fuzzy. This time, Dave Johnson, CCSO retired, came to my rescue. And Dave said:
I have some info that might lend weight to this issue. I too drew the short straw a couple times, baby sitting those Clydesdales. It sure wasn't what I expected.
First off, the cute Dalmatian you see riding the Bud wagon in the Christmas commercials must've been on vacation. The one Bud sent to the fair was a black-spotted werewolf that would eat the ass out of your trousers if you looked at him sideways.
Second of all, when I was there our job was the same--make sure they stayed on their feet. If they laid down, we had to go get the wrangler--which pissed off the Dalmatian. Then the wrangler, grouchy because his sleep had been interrupted, would come out and wallop the horse on the ass with a 2x4 until it got up. Saw it with my own eyes.
The other thing people don't realize is that those elephant-sized horses erupt with methane gas clouds that would make a brontosaurus proud. So, you spent the shift walking around at eye-level with the behemoth's "nozzles", wondering where you'd left your gas mask. I can still see those bung holes opening up like Kodak apertures, followed by flatulent dust devils that would knock you to your knees.
The things a cop will do for extra money.
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