Some cops like to get comfy when they crib. Chittlins Brown was one. He'd remove his gun belt and accessories, and lay them on the dash. Thus unencumbered, he could saw some serious logs. Sleeping on duty, making yourself a target, was stupid enough. Taking off your weapon? Great Jumpin' Jessie Jackson! Chittlins obviously needed to be taught a lesson. Sgt. J.D. Spohn was just the man to do it.
Early one morning, J.D. found Chittlins snoring on the front seat of his cruiser, in the bushes off 5th Ave North. Approaching with rhino-like stealth, J.D. removed the gun belt and the car keys, that were still in the ignition.
When Chittlins finally made it to the NPD several hours later, he had a lot of explaining to do. Must've had a helluva story, cause he continued to work there for a while. Our next miscreant, who we'll call Beau Dumell, needed a real good story, too.
Beau, a young Deputy with the CCSO, was a legendary lady killer--in his own mind. And shrewd in his philandering. Or so he thought. In fact, the residents at the School for the Deaf and Blind could've told you who Beau's latest conquest was and where it happened. Beau had a big mouth!
Attracting women wasn't a problem. A few ladies have a thing for cops and let them know. They would get in front of a cruiser and alternately blink their tail lights, left, right, left, right. That meant pull over, and lets talk about the weather. I can't vouch for this personally, you understand, but I'm told that would happened. Howsumever, I digress.
Beau's M.O. was to arrange for a sweetie to meet him at a remote location, usually after midnight. Then he'd show up and it was belly rub time!
Beau, a spiffy dresser, didn't want to crumple his uniform, so he'd take it off and spread it on the hood of his patrol car. Along with his drawers, socks, shoes, and gun belt. No problem. He was in the woods and who knew?
Who knew?
Every Deputy on the CCSO and half the City cops.
It was time for some fun. One evening, when Beau was busy in the back seat of his cruiser, a Deputy crept up and stole everything off the hood. Including the car keys. To make matters worse, this time Beau had brought his paramour to the love nest. There was no other car.
Not without compassion, the Deputies allowed Beau to suffer for only three of four hours before they returned his gear.
Thanks, Dave, for the help.
Early one morning, J.D. found Chittlins snoring on the front seat of his cruiser, in the bushes off 5th Ave North. Approaching with rhino-like stealth, J.D. removed the gun belt and the car keys, that were still in the ignition.
When Chittlins finally made it to the NPD several hours later, he had a lot of explaining to do. Must've had a helluva story, cause he continued to work there for a while. Our next miscreant, who we'll call Beau Dumell, needed a real good story, too.
Beau, a young Deputy with the CCSO, was a legendary lady killer--in his own mind. And shrewd in his philandering. Or so he thought. In fact, the residents at the School for the Deaf and Blind could've told you who Beau's latest conquest was and where it happened. Beau had a big mouth!
Attracting women wasn't a problem. A few ladies have a thing for cops and let them know. They would get in front of a cruiser and alternately blink their tail lights, left, right, left, right. That meant pull over, and lets talk about the weather. I can't vouch for this personally, you understand, but I'm told that would happened. Howsumever, I digress.
Beau's M.O. was to arrange for a sweetie to meet him at a remote location, usually after midnight. Then he'd show up and it was belly rub time!
Beau, a spiffy dresser, didn't want to crumple his uniform, so he'd take it off and spread it on the hood of his patrol car. Along with his drawers, socks, shoes, and gun belt. No problem. He was in the woods and who knew?
Who knew?
Every Deputy on the CCSO and half the City cops.
It was time for some fun. One evening, when Beau was busy in the back seat of his cruiser, a Deputy crept up and stole everything off the hood. Including the car keys. To make matters worse, this time Beau had brought his paramour to the love nest. There was no other car.
Not without compassion, the Deputies allowed Beau to suffer for only three of four hours before they returned his gear.
Thanks, Dave, for the help.
No comments:
Post a Comment