In olden times, when the bars had closed and all the drunks tucked in, Naples was a mighty quiet town. Moribund. Usually by 3:30 you were slapping your face, trying to keep awake until the Bus Station Restaurant opened and Liz and Bert could cook you a decent breakfast.
I never could sleep on duty. Marine Corps had ruined me. I'd seen what they did to Marines who slept on duty and it'd scared me straight. Think of having your thumb placed in the receiver of an M-1 rifle, and the spring-loaded bolt slammed shut on it. Or worse. Some guys could snooze though, and they just found a quiet spot and cribbed.
In fairness, most cops worked at least two jobs and were always tired. Yet, those who couldn't sleep still begrudged those that could. So we messed with them. One favorite prank was to collect a few garbage cans, and tie them to the bumper of the dozing defender's car. Then we'd get on the radio and make a emergency call to sleeping beauty: Seven-five, 10-19, 10-18. Cop talk for Officer 75, return to the PD quickly.
Sleeping cops can be comatose behind the wheel and still awaken instantly when their number is called. Without exception, they'd roar outta their hidey hole, dragging all the cans behind them. That would usually cure them for a couple of weeks.
Some cases were harder. Ft. Myers had a cop that couldn't make it past midnight, even when activity was hot and he was needed. When the clock struck twelve, this bozo grabbed his security blanket and hit the sheets. His favorite spot was by a remote railroad crossing.
One early morning, cops arranged for the slow-moving morning train to creep up there and stop. Then, they shoved this Rip Van Dinkle's cruiser up on the crossing, directly in front of the engine. On signal, the engineer hit the locomotive's air horn. Van Dinkle was a notoriously sound sleeper, but when that air horn blasted he reared upright in his seat, saw the train and . . . Witnesses say his laundry required some extra scrubbing that week.
Another dumbo in dream land, Shuteye Sullivan, liked to sleep on a dock. It was sturdy, and just wide enough for the car. Making it custom made for his cure. An emergency call ruined his catnap: Sullivan, Sullivan, your car's on fire! Get out, get out! As planned, Shuteye promptly opened the door and took one giant step into the drink.
And some of you must've wondered how the cops stay awake all night.
I never could sleep on duty. Marine Corps had ruined me. I'd seen what they did to Marines who slept on duty and it'd scared me straight. Think of having your thumb placed in the receiver of an M-1 rifle, and the spring-loaded bolt slammed shut on it. Or worse. Some guys could snooze though, and they just found a quiet spot and cribbed.
In fairness, most cops worked at least two jobs and were always tired. Yet, those who couldn't sleep still begrudged those that could. So we messed with them. One favorite prank was to collect a few garbage cans, and tie them to the bumper of the dozing defender's car. Then we'd get on the radio and make a emergency call to sleeping beauty: Seven-five, 10-19, 10-18. Cop talk for Officer 75, return to the PD quickly.
Sleeping cops can be comatose behind the wheel and still awaken instantly when their number is called. Without exception, they'd roar outta their hidey hole, dragging all the cans behind them. That would usually cure them for a couple of weeks.
Some cases were harder. Ft. Myers had a cop that couldn't make it past midnight, even when activity was hot and he was needed. When the clock struck twelve, this bozo grabbed his security blanket and hit the sheets. His favorite spot was by a remote railroad crossing.
One early morning, cops arranged for the slow-moving morning train to creep up there and stop. Then, they shoved this Rip Van Dinkle's cruiser up on the crossing, directly in front of the engine. On signal, the engineer hit the locomotive's air horn. Van Dinkle was a notoriously sound sleeper, but when that air horn blasted he reared upright in his seat, saw the train and . . . Witnesses say his laundry required some extra scrubbing that week.
Another dumbo in dream land, Shuteye Sullivan, liked to sleep on a dock. It was sturdy, and just wide enough for the car. Making it custom made for his cure. An emergency call ruined his catnap: Sullivan, Sullivan, your car's on fire! Get out, get out! As planned, Shuteye promptly opened the door and took one giant step into the drink.
And some of you must've wondered how the cops stay awake all night.
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