Miami was having a crime problem. A rash of home invasion robberies had disrupted the regular menu of murder, rape, and illicit drugs. These robberies had the added horror of victim torture and they were getting more frequent and violent. One of the latest outrages involved a wheelchair bound victim being beaten senseless, then rolled into his pool.
To get the scumbags responsible, a special squad was formed. Their mandate was to use any means to bag them. Since regular police work wasn't getting it done, the more innovative the better. And innovative they were.
The a-holes who shoved the cripple in the pool were caught immediately. They'd brought so much heat down on the regular criminals, the regulars ratted them out. But, there were many others. Some were 100% suspects but nothing could be proven. These were treated to a night at the golf course. Snatched up, they were taken to the Doral golf course, roughed up, urinated upon, and told to leave Miami and never come back. And, terrified, they did.
Worse suspects got to meet the big rabbit. One of the squad members was a giant, Hulk Hogan type. Somewhere a rabbit suit to fit him was located and a giant carrot was fabricated with a baseball bat inside. Picture this. A perp is in the interrogation room and demands his lawyer. The interrogator yells, Lawyer. The door bursts open and in comes the rabbit, with his carrot that is applied with vigor to the perp's body. Then the cops says, Okay there's your lawyer, do you want your priest?
The huge cop had another costume: a gorilla mask and a jock strap. Thus, attired, he would respond to the Lawyer call and do what he did best. Few returned to the interrogation room and the northbound lane of the Florida Turnpike was gridlocked with criminals headed for Orlando. Of course, if a weasel did go to court and complain he was beaten by a six foot rabbit with a big carrot, or a gorilla in a jock strap, he was laughed out of the building.
This good work went on for some time. Robbery/torture was eliminated and other crime rates took a nosedive. But all good things must end. Finally, the special squad was disbanded when a judge said that he knew how criminals were wont to be liars, but if he heard one more story about being brutalized by a big rabbit with a three-foot carrot somebody was going to be in trouble.
To get the scumbags responsible, a special squad was formed. Their mandate was to use any means to bag them. Since regular police work wasn't getting it done, the more innovative the better. And innovative they were.
The a-holes who shoved the cripple in the pool were caught immediately. They'd brought so much heat down on the regular criminals, the regulars ratted them out. But, there were many others. Some were 100% suspects but nothing could be proven. These were treated to a night at the golf course. Snatched up, they were taken to the Doral golf course, roughed up, urinated upon, and told to leave Miami and never come back. And, terrified, they did.
Worse suspects got to meet the big rabbit. One of the squad members was a giant, Hulk Hogan type. Somewhere a rabbit suit to fit him was located and a giant carrot was fabricated with a baseball bat inside. Picture this. A perp is in the interrogation room and demands his lawyer. The interrogator yells, Lawyer. The door bursts open and in comes the rabbit, with his carrot that is applied with vigor to the perp's body. Then the cops says, Okay there's your lawyer, do you want your priest?
The huge cop had another costume: a gorilla mask and a jock strap. Thus, attired, he would respond to the Lawyer call and do what he did best. Few returned to the interrogation room and the northbound lane of the Florida Turnpike was gridlocked with criminals headed for Orlando. Of course, if a weasel did go to court and complain he was beaten by a six foot rabbit with a big carrot, or a gorilla in a jock strap, he was laughed out of the building.
This good work went on for some time. Robbery/torture was eliminated and other crime rates took a nosedive. But all good things must end. Finally, the special squad was disbanded when a judge said that he knew how criminals were wont to be liars, but if he heard one more story about being brutalized by a big rabbit with a three-foot carrot somebody was going to be in trouble.
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