HENRY'S "BOG"

At a time when Henry Kissinger was damn near as famous as Donald Duck, he made a visit to Naples. Henry, former Secretary of State, Nobel Prize Winner, and purported horny old man, dropped down at the Naples Airport to grace some well-heeled locals with his words of wisdom, and collect a handsome honorarium. God knows who would be a party to such absurdity but, that's Naples.

Henry, well padded and impeccable in a tailored suit, alighted from the aircraft where a team of CCSO SWAT Deputies awaited. They were to protect him in case there might be a Cracker or two who would like to thump his pompous, annoying azz. Aground, he pointed to a leather valise, and nodding to a SWAT officer, grunted in his heavy Teutonic accent, "Boy, my bog."

Without missing a beat, the Deputy gave Henry a withering stare and replied. "First off, I'm not your boy. Second, I don't do bogs."

You couldn't say Henry wasn't a quick study. After first getting a look on his face like someone had squatted in his strudel, he recovered quickly, recognized his faux pas, grabbed his bog, and waddled on toward the terminal, surrounded by his protectors. One couldn't hear what he was mumbling under his breath but you can bet he wouldn't be contributing to the Sheriff's re-election campaign.

After several minutes of laughing when the SWAT guys told me of the incident, I found Captain Wayne Graham, then Commander of the team. "Tell me, it's true, Wayne," I said. "Tell me it's true."

Wayne just smiled. Which, was all I needed.

I have no doubts, anyway. One of the first weapons a cop collects is a sharp barb for deflating those who have self-inflated themselves to obnoxious proportions.

I can just hear the air hissing out now. Sounds like the Hindenburg when it got pricked.

Dave Johnson had a version of the Henry story, too. He said he and Larry Hargrove once picked up Henry and took him to a Marco hotel. Henry tried to make a bellboy out of Hargrove, then turned on the TV and spent the evening offering rebuttal to the speech that was on; then President Jimmy Carter.

I'm glad he's not as popular as D Duck any longer.