BURRITO ON THE PIER

  John Slater was much better at collecting animals than he was corralling them. He'd turned his estate, on Gordon Drive, into a sanctuary for exotic animals. He was so caring he had food, from their indigenous area, flown in every day. Nothing was too good for the dolphins, giant tortoise, wallaby, and other critters. Yep, he was good at collecting but he just couldn't build good fences. Or, as some suspected, he thought it was funny to let some critters escape and wander the preposterously pompous neighborhood.

  One jail breaker in particular, called Pedro, was known to anyone who visited the City Pier. He was a mini burro who loved to mingle with the fishermen. We regularly got calls, from folks concerned about his safety, that the little fella was on the pier.

  Chester Keene received such a call one day and found the burro in the midst of some fishermen, soaking up their adoration. It was obvious to Chester that there were a million ways Pedro could get injured. First, and most likely, the fishermen were notorious for not being particular where the hook end of their line was when they cast. Just flip it over their shoulder and give it a fling. Doing so, they hooked pelicans, birds, and humans and a jackass wasn't beyond reason. Then, Chester reasoned, Pedro could fall off the pier. Or get his hoof caught in the planking. Yep, he needed to go home.

  There was a short rope around Pedro's neck--formerly a tether--and Chester tugged on it. And tugged. The little burro just stood there as though his feet were nailed to the deck. That went on for some time, with the fishermen enjoying the show, and Chester, not wanting to hurt the burro by jerking too hard, getting more and more frustrated.

  Finally, one of the fishermen had mercy and told Chester the problem.

  "Never seen you out here to capture the burro before?" the fisherman said.

  "Nope," Chester admitted, it was his first burro wrangling detail.

  "Well," the fisherman said, "what he wants is to jump off the pier."

  Chester looked hard at the fisherman.

 "Really," the fisherman said. "He likes to jump off the pier and swim to shore. That rail over there," the fisherman said, pointing at the bait house, "is made to come loose so they can pull up the bait nets. We take it down and he jumps right it."

  Chester thought he was being had, and only after repeated assurances let the fishermen demonstrate. One unscrewed the wing-nuts that held the rail in place and moved it to the side. The burro immediately ran to the opening and jumped into the Gulf. And swam like Tarzan to shore. Once there, he walked up on the beach, shook himself like a soggy dog, and headed south on the sand towards home.

  Wonder what's next? Chester thought as he went 10-8. Big John's Galapagos Tortoise gonna take up water skiing?


PS Besides being a tasty treat a burrito is Spanish for a small burro.