BUT YOU SAID. . .

 Another tale from the memory of Chester Keene.

  It was a slow night and the two young dispatchers were fighting terminal boredom. To keep awake, they were inventing games, telling jokes, doing anything to stay on the flip-side of Zzzzland. They were right in the middle of a Charades session when in walked the dreaded Chief of Police. He was a retired Army Colonel and liked to drop by, unexpected at night, and try to catch someone goofing off. 
 Tonight, he had to be ecstatic.  His tirade was maniacal and brutal, concluding with, "You might as well put on a couple of dunce hats." 

  Please keep in mind that this was a pair of rookie dispatchers, who knew little of The Colonel, except that he was known for making strange requests and was roundly despised by the cops. So, to improve their performance, and try to make the Chief happy. . .

 The next night the Chief was again doing his weasel patrol and drove by the front door to the PD, then at 8th and 8th South. It was glass and he could see the front desk. And what was visible behind the counter--two cone-shaped hats. Bursting in the office, he got the full effect: the two busy dispatchers, wearing homemade caps with the word DUNCE printed on each one. Just as he, sarcastically, had demanded. We always believed it was one of the things that led him to consuming too much liquid stupid and, consequently, a six-month tenure as Chief.

  A few years later, Saturday Night Live featured a recurring skit called The Coneheads. I wonder. . .