DON'T FENCE ME IN

  This is another true yarn from Chester Keene. And as Chester B tells it:

 Received a call requesting to see the Shift Supervisor ref a problem that needed reconciliation. The Request for Supervisor usually means a cop has stepped on someone's toes, and they want to whine and blubber and get a second opinion as to what the cop had said they'd done wrong. Or they're just those particular jerks who believe they're above the law--in Naples, at the time, common place. Neither of which was so in this case.

  Found the complainant, and elderly woman, in her front yard. She said that she needed help with her husband, who was in the backyard. Asked if he needed medical attention and she replied, "Not yet, but if he keeps it up he's going to."

  In the back yard found her husband, standing in the hot sun, peeping through a privacy fence.

  "Looks okay to me," I told the lady.

  "Yes, " she said, "but if he doesn't get out of that hot sun, get something to eat or drink. . .he's been there almost all day."

  "What's he looking at?" I said, having a pretty good idea.

  "Go take a look, you'll see."

  So I did. I greeted the husband at the fence, told him why I was there. His eyes looked like rotten grapes and his breath sputtered in ragged, irregular burps. "Need to take a look through that fence," I said. The geeser reluctantly stepped aside, took one last look, then relinquished his spy-hole.  I took it over.
  On the other side, laying topless beside the pool, were two lovely spring-breakers. Early twenties at the most.

  In the cop business you're always doing things you don't want to do, but it's a duty thing. So I took one last look then announced: "This is the police. Put your tops on and quit exposing yourselves."  The young ladies quickly complied.

  The keen observer at my side mumbled, "Damn," and sulked all the way over to his wife. His wife said "Thank, you," to me, and I got in my patrol car and returned to duty, marveling at her reserve and understanding. 
  A sunstroke averted, a marriage saved,  and life went on in the treacherous Elephant's Graveyard.