It was after 3 AM and we were in the PD having a cup of jailhouse battery acid. The bars had closed at 2 and we thought we'd put all the drunks to bed.
All except one. We heard him before we saw him--a thud just like a vehicle makes when it hits a tree. We ran to the window and looked outside. A man, who'd obviously enjoyed too much liquid stupid, was running from a pick-em-up that had jumped the parking space and used a palm tree for a stop bar. He was looking skyward, with his arms folded over his head like he was warding off a sea gull umpah bombing. We met him at the front door.
He rushed right by, squeezed in a corner of the lobby and muttered. "Flying saucer. . .chased me. . .bright lights." We tried to calm him but it took several minutes to get his story.
He'd been drinking near Royal Palm Hammock, and when the bar closed, got in his truck and headed up US 41 to Naples. He hadn't gone but a mile or so when a bright light focused on him from overhead. Nearly blinded, he drove on, increasing his speed, trying to get away. But he couldn't outrun the light.
He'd been drinking near Royal Palm Hammock, and when the bar closed, got in his truck and headed up US 41 to Naples. He hadn't gone but a mile or so when a bright light focused on him from overhead. Nearly blinded, he drove on, increasing his speed, trying to get away. But he couldn't outrun the light.
"It chased me all the way to town, then disappeared," he said. "I knew you guys would be open so I came here."
We knew a UFO was unlikely but knew how objects in the night sky can be misread. A few months before I'd see a blazing, bright light overhead that suddenly took off and dissappeared over the horizon. UFO? Looked like it to me. But a call to Cape Canaveral dispelled that notion. It had been an aluminum weather balloon, over New England, up so high tomorrow's sun was shining on the aluminum. When it reached a certain altitude, the balloon popped and fell to earth. From that height and distance, it look like it was streaking away across the night sky.
About that time, the phone rang, the dispatcher talked a few minutes, then smiled and handed the phone to me. It was an officer for the game commission.
"Just wanted to let you know," he said, "we were running poacher patrol tonight and checked out a dude on the East Trail. Driving a pickup truck from The Hammock to Naples. Think we scared the pee-water outta him. He took off like a French soldier. We dropped off when we got to the city. You might run into him somewhere."
Mystery solved. The game commission, at night, would fly over trucks coming out of remote areas and check what they were carrying in the bed. Looking for a dead deer, other poached game. They flew in a helicopter--with a very bright light. Probably not the smartest way to do business, but it went on for a while.
We tried to explain to our visitor what had happened but he wanted none of it. "Was a flying saucer. Tryin' to get me in their space ship so they could probe me. I ain't stupid."
We gave him a chance to reconsider while he sobered up in the jail, and had his truck towed out of our front year.
"Just wanted to let you know," he said, "we were running poacher patrol tonight and checked out a dude on the East Trail. Driving a pickup truck from The Hammock to Naples. Think we scared the pee-water outta him. He took off like a French soldier. We dropped off when we got to the city. You might run into him somewhere."
Mystery solved. The game commission, at night, would fly over trucks coming out of remote areas and check what they were carrying in the bed. Looking for a dead deer, other poached game. They flew in a helicopter--with a very bright light. Probably not the smartest way to do business, but it went on for a while.
We tried to explain to our visitor what had happened but he wanted none of it. "Was a flying saucer. Tryin' to get me in their space ship so they could probe me. I ain't stupid."
We gave him a chance to reconsider while he sobered up in the jail, and had his truck towed out of our front year.
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