MORE LIDS THAN THE MAD HATTER

  Over the years, the NPD has worn more lids than the Mad Hatter. It started with the traditional cop's 8-point,  military style hat. Pretty standard for "city" cops. Later, we lost our way.

 Someone decided that the hat style Deputies wore was the way to go. You know, the one Jackie Gleason's Sheriff Buford wore. The kind a drunk Texan wears, on Saturday night, to a whorehouse. They looked ridiculous! They were hot and itchy in the sun. To ward off rain, a plastic cover was necessary or they got soaked and drooped down like wilted lettuce on a day-old Whopper. Nobody wore the damn things--although you were supposed to. But that was just the beginning.

  When the country started having race riots, the NPD fielded a Riot Squad. Not a bad idea to be prepared. At the same time cops switched from using the short "billie" club to the longer riot stick. That was because newsies loved to film the cops, with the billie in the air, getting ready to crack some deserving maggot's skull. It was easy to spot the billies  raised above the crowd, a beacon for photographers. 
  The riot baton, however, was used in a thrust and parry fashion, poking ribs, cracking jaws, but not raised overhead affording Kodak moments.

  All this made perfect sense. Then came the problem. Cops also wore a riot helmet. Again, some genius decided that the helmets should be worn all the time on duty. Now, we're talking about something like a motorcycle helmet. Hot, heavy, and blocking your normal hearing, they were also too tall for lengthy cops to wear when seated in a car. Damn things hit the roof, making you tilt your head forward. But a good cop can always figure out how to thwart absurd bureaucracy.
  Soon you'd see cops riding or walking along with their heads appearing to bobble like one of those little dolls. The reason why was they'd stripped all gut's out and it was now just a thin plastic shell, balanced on the top of their head. Weightless and useless.

  Finally, even the most dense administrator saw the stupidity and futility of the helmet rule. Especially since, in the Elephant's Graveyard, there was only one riot--ever--and that was   in Immokalee.
  Later, Riot Squads lost out to SWAT teams.  SWAT dudes, in their black Ninja uniforms and masks and enough weapons to give a redneck wet dreams, were much more intimidating. And that was the bottom line to begin with wasn't it?