Wednesday, June 23, 2010

THE MAGIC WORDS

     So some Puke has broken into your house and you’ve shot them or stabbed them or cracked their skull with a 12” cast iron skillet and the perp is sprawled on your floor, in disrepair or, better still, permanently removed from the A-hole pool. So what now? First, call your lawyer then remember The Magic Words.
  What are The Magic Words? A pronouncement, that when uttered correctly, helps defend against criminal charges or civil action proceeding against you.
  This is what they ain’t. Some sumbitch breaks into my house I’ ll keel ‘em. Or, He was trespassing’ on my property, so I keeled him. Or some other redneck, stupidly arrogant boast. No, this could cause you grief beyond your dreams, even if you are well within the comfort zone provided by the law.
  In Florida, this protection can be very liberal. (See Florida Statute 776, Justifiable Use Of Force, for a complete interpretation) As I read the law and have seen it applied, if you find someone in your home that is not welcome or justified to be there, it is assumed—prima facia evidence—that the intruder intends to commit a felony. That allows you to use deadly force to repel him. This also covers intruders into your car or confrontations on the street. It is a law that doesn't require you to take an ass-whuppin' before you retaliate.
  Still, The Magic Words that the cops and prosecutors want to hear are like these. Best of all, spoken with great remorse: I didn’t want to hurt him but I was terrified. I was afraid for myself—or my family—and didn’t know what else to do. I was so frightened. I was scared to death. I didn't have any choice that I could see. If you thought you saw a weapon in their hand that helps, too. Gun, knife, scissors, something shiny. You were so upset it was hard to tell.
  Stuff like that. These are The Magic Words. Granted, not something John Wayne might say, but essential language to keep you in that comfy home you've just so courageously defended.
  I'm not a lawyer but over the years I've have seen several folks put themselves, needlessly, in jail with their mouth. All were men. Women usually admit they were scared to death--as everyone should.
  So if it happens to you, call the cops, and your lawyer, remember The Magic Words and pat yourself on the back for the good work you've done.

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